The Kentucky Hellhounds!

It has been our lifelong dream to become professional wrestlers. We were training in the backyard and doing a good job of it, but Jard hurt his back real bad and we had to quit for a while. Wrestling has changed a lot in the past few years, they got all them slicked up model boys in there instead of real wrestling men like Dusty Rhodes, Wahoo McDaniel, and The VooDoo Brothers.

Our favorites were the VooDoo Brothers. Man, they were some bad sumbitches. Not nancy-boys like Gregorious George or Richard Simmons. I remember the match they had for the USWA title in Evansville versus The King Jerry Lawler and that midget feller that followed him around. They didn't win the belts, but they took Lawler out with a busted left shoulder.

After that, they grabbed Jim Cornette and went down to the Waffle House to celebrate. That's where we met 'em. They was real nice when they wasn't beatin up a midget.

This here is our cousin Raylene. She wanted to take pictures out by the hay barn, but Uncle Bob got mad at her last time she tried that. He said it was improper for her to being doing stuff with the Hammers boy. The Hammers boy said if she smokes she pokes, but I don't hold much truck with fellas who say that sort fo thing. She is awful pretty, though. I prolly need to stop havin those thoughts. She is gunna be our ring girl.

Since he hurt his back, Jard has become a goat farmer. This here is a picture of his favorite goat, Senor Touchdown. Jard named him after a touchdown in football happens. That is when a player gets the ball all the way over to the other side. All Senor Touchdown does is bah a lot and piss all over the place, so he ain't much like a football. I says Jard, why are you wasting time with them goats when we could be WWF Tag Team Champions. And he says, gotta pay for my Boones Wine, son.